samuel is 5. yes, 5.
he is my child that i miss the most. i miss him because he is my middle child. he is the child following my very verbal oldest and very cute youngest. Since he was a baby he could self soothe. he would hold his blanket up to his face and stroke it with his pointer finger while his thumb plopped in his mouth like a cork.
for months i’ve been praying for samuel. he hasn’t been growing up. it’s like he has been a 3 yr old for the past few years and hasn’t moved forward. i felt distant from him and somehow just couldn’t connect. i felt like i was missing him. and i was.